The Anti-Christmas Playlist
Societal pressures aside, not all of us are always going to be feeling particularly festive around the holidays. That can be a tough stance to take when you’re under the bombardment of winter wonderland propaganda from all sides, but don’t fret! As it has throughout your life, there’s music out there to reassure you that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. These songs will get you through the holiday season, and are even Christmas-y enough that you can play them at your holiday gathering and not get called out for doing so – until people maybe start paying attention to the actual song lyrics.
1) Weezer “The Christmas Song”
Disguised as a yuletide tune, this non-album cut is essentially a pretty depressing song about heartbreak and betrayal – possibly as emo as Weezer (and this playlist) gets.
2) John Lennon & Yoko Ono/Plastic Ono Band “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
While you could technically make the argument that this could be a legit Christmas song, Lennon penned this tune primarily as a protest against the Vietnam war and as a method to deliver his pointed message of peace and unity in a more digestible form for the general masses.
3) “Weird Al” Yankovic “Christmas At Ground Zero”
Possibly one of the darkest songs in the “Weird Al” catalog, this peppy-sounding Xmas tune is probably a good indicator as to what the world could face if we don’t heed the words of Lennon’s aforementioned contribution to this playlist.
4) De La Soul “Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa”
Truth be told, you can barely even count this one as even pretending to be a Christmas song, as it’s largely just the story of a sexually molested girl who – driven to desperation by her dire situation and lack of support from her surroundings – brings a gun to the mall and shoots her abusive father during his shift playing Santa Claus. Well, they can’t all be uplifting.
5) Run the Jewels “A Christmas Fucking Miracle”
Don’t let the sleigh bells fool you. The final song on Killer Mike and El-P’s first collaborative album, this song is pretty dark. But you probably should have expected that before listening, right?
6) Elvis Presley “Blue Christmas”
Find yourself inexplicably depressed every time the holidays rears its persistently ugly head? Don’t worry, kid. You’re definitely not the first to feel this way, as evidenced by a song that’s been around for so long that you probably forgot to recognize that it’s like THE anti-Christmas tune.
If you’re feeling as Anti-Christmas as us, head over to Trebel where you can download these songs to your phone for free!