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10 Songs to Drown Out the Guy Next to You on the Plane

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You know that guy? The one who’s hogging the middle arm rest? Taking up all the overhead cabin space with his duffle? Snoring like he has an untreated respiratory problem? That guy. The one sitting next to you, sucking all the holiday cheer out of the air with his ragged breathing. As if traveling this time of year wasn’t bad enough. Between the overbooked flights, traffic, text messages from your aunt insisting you’ll forget to bring the sweet potatoes if she doesn’t constantly remind you. As if it wasn’t enough to just survive Thanksgiving dinner. Now you have to survive several hours sitting next to this broken muffler of a person?

Thankfully, there’s music. If there’s one thing we should be thankful for this season, it’s sweet unlimited, streamable tunes. So sit back, unclench, set your jams to deafeningly loud and try to relax to some of these seasonal jams.

1. “American Pie” by Don McLean

Ask yourself, “can music save your model soul?” while contemplating the cumulative hours of gridlock traffic that’ll you’ll sit in over the next few days.

2. “Show Me Where Ya Noms At” by Songs To Wear Pants To and Hannah Hart

Instead of losing your cool at this guy, spend your trip emotionally preparing for binge eating pumpkin pie and having the inevitable Hart-attack.

3.Thanksgiving Song” by Adam Sandler

Simple sentiments about turkey are all you need to survive this ordeal. Plus, crying from frustration in public is generally frowned upon, so you might as well laugh.

4. “Country Pie” by Bob Dylan

Celebrate Dylans’ Nobel win and the desserts to come. Be they, “raspberry, strawberry, lemon and lime / What do I care? / Blueberry, apple, cherry, pumpkin and plum / Call me for dinner, honey, / I’ll be there.”

5. “Traffic in the Sky” by Jack Johnson

Jack Johnson will always be there for you with a nice slow acoustic tune to bring your blood pressure back down. Have a tiny bottle of something and get through this flight.

6. “Dinner For Two” by David Byrne & St. Vincent

In this Love This Giant song, dinner goes from charming to disastrous quickly. Just like this journey you’re on.

7. “We Are Not A Football Team” by Minus the Bear

Unlike in Minus the Bear’s charming run-in relived in this song, you find yourself less bemused by the prospect of being “out at ten in the evening.” 

8. “(There’s No Place Like) Home for the Holidays” by Perry Como

You might not exactly be pining for the sunshine of a friendly gaze, but a few more minutes with Sleeping Beauty and nothing will be able to beat home sweet home.

9. “Santa Stole Thanksgiving” by Jimmy Buffett

With Halloween over, the stores are already flooding with Christmas paraphernalia. Might as well get on board and by cheery about something.

10. “Gravy Boat” by The National

Keep calm and listen on. Soon everything will be gravy.

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